What Everyone is Watching Today.

What everyone is watching today:
 

Scandal Cheat Sheet

The Purgegate Primer
courtesy of The Morning News.

Here’s the problem with modern political scandals: Many of the journalists and media outlets follow the case for months—while it’s still under the radar of the American public. Then, when the scandal attracts a great deal of attention, the articles presuppose an audience as versed in the minutiae of the case as its authors. Readers interested in the big picture are left to piece together the backstory themselves.

Read Matthew Baldwin's complete essay here.

The Rock Bottom Remainders!

Playing live during an interview.

Obvious Headline of the Day

 

Iraq remains a dangerous place - Yahoo! News

BAGHDAD - Vice President
Dick Cheney said Wednesday that
Iraq remains a dangerous place, a point underscored by a thunderous explosion that rattled windows in the U.S. Embassy where he spent most of the day.

The 'headline diet' will take away your appetite

The 'headline diet' will take away your appetite in a flash

If you're looking for a dieting tip to slim down for summer, try our new headline diet. It's guaranteed to take your appetite away.
First, a salad headline, tossed with E. coli-contaminated lettuce and spinach. That E. coli comes from cow pies that taint agricultural water that then gets splashed on your salad-fixings.
Next, while waiting for our main dish, read headlines about pets all over the country falling sick and dying, and more than 100 brands of pet food being recalled.
....

Pet food recall lists

It can be hard to keep up with all of the recalled pet foods, as the list continues to expand.
The American Veterinary Medical Association keeps an updated list on its website.

Shocker...

Okay, who's really going to be surprised when we find out that it's our own fault that the honeybees are dying & our all our crop pollination goes to crap?

Didn't we learn anything after almost killing off the bald eagle with DDT, & poisoning our children at Love Canal?
Didn't we glean any smarts when the GM corn killed off beneficial insects as well as the ones we didn't want, & then found its way into crops thousands of miles from where it was supposed to be?
I guess not.

A Snapshot of My Life

Note to Self

Always be more drunk than the groom.

Where Have All the Leaders Gone?

An excerpt from Lee Iococca's new book, courtesy of Borders Books.

Had Enough?

Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.

And so forth, & so on... .

Sleeping Cuties

Just too adorable.

The perfect child — NOT!

Call Me Back When Your Aneurism Subsides

Girl on phone: Mommy, my nose is pierced, I'm marrying a girl, I'm in love with a gay boy, and I'm pregnant. One of these is false. Goodbye.

via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 22, 2007

You'll Have to Speak Up

I can't hear you over the huge dehumidifier sitting behind me.
When I came in this morning, I noticed a wet spot on the carpet of my office, & thought that rather odd, since we don't have drop ceilings, & it hasn't rained recently, anyway.

As I soaked up the small area, I noticed that is was very cold, & then remembered that maintenance had never returned to fix my thermostat.
Upon further investigation, I found that most of the carpet in the back 1/3 of my office was at least damp, so I got someone on the phone to come look at it from Facilities Management.
I was happily surprised to see them within an hour, & we began moving desks & files so they could access the HVAC unit in the wall.

Gary thinks it was just leaking around the valve (and I bet it wouldn't have, had they returned to fix the thermostat).
After turning off the valve, he promised to return in the morning to make sure no more leaks occur.

When pressed about fixing the thermostat, though, there seemed to be a good bit of head shaking, & "I thought Bug (yes, we have a guy named Bug) was going to fix that."
"No, he told me that you were going to do it... ."

As long as I have some functional environmental controls before warm weather gets here, I'll be happy.
Actually, it's usually quite warm by now, but the freakish weather has prevented that for now.

And I'm starting notice an ever so slightly unpleasant smell from the dehumidifier, as well. Nice... .
Guess I need to find a place to plug up my HEPA.

April 16th Memorial Website at Virginia Tech.

To honor and remember the victims of Monday's tragedy, the university has created the April 16 Memorial Website so individuals may share condolences, thoughts, and prayers.
NOTE: Due to extremely high volume on the memorial website, you may experience slow performance. We ask for your patience.

Evaluating the response

In various sites & media outlets, many people are moving to criticize the response of VT police & administration during the events of 16 April. This include many higher ed venues, with people looking at their own plans & procedures.
This is the response I posted on one site.

As someone who has worked for VT in various capacities, & lived in the area for a fairly long time, I'd have to say they did the best they could with what they had at the time.
If you've never been on this sprawling campus, you have no idea how hard it can be to find something that you're looking for when you don't know where, or who, it is.
The idea of shutting down a campus of 26,000 students in short time is similar to trying to shut down a small city; no easy thing.

And it is about impossible to get the full attention of a college student.
Even after the police shut down the campus, the central drill field (20+ acres large), which is fairly close to Norris Hall, was filled with students taking pictures & video of the unfolding events. These were students who had just been told to stay indoors for their own safety!
I think it is clear from subsequent information released that the VT police felt that the initial dorm shooting was an isolated incident, and that they felt that they knew the person they needed to be talking to about it, the early person of interest.
Yes, all of our universities are now looking at their emergency communication plans, but I wonder how much better anyone else would have done in the same situation?

I sincerely hope that we never find out.

The mailman always knows, right?

After watching the convocation at Virginia Tech, I was channel flipping a little before turning off the TV in our conference room, and CNN was interviewing the shooter's family's mailman... ??

VA Tech Shootings

Yes, everyone in America is blogging about the shootings, & I want to add my piece.
Starting with my thankfulness that my wife took the day off yesterday & wasn't on campus.
Her offices are on the other side of campus from where the shootings took place, & I'm sure that she wouldn't have been in any physical danger had she been there, but I'm still relieved that she wasn't there.

I've heard back from one of our martial arts students that he wasn't in the vicinity when everything went down, but am still hoping to hear from the others who may have been on campus, so that we know that they are not in the list of as yet unreleased decedents.

Hooray!

The state was kind enough to deposit my paycheck today — before the last bill I paid got to the bank, so nothing bounced!

Researchers explore scrapping Internet

Some days I feel like doing this with life in general, don't you?

Oops! They did it again.

Rove E-Mail Sought by Congress May Be Missing

A lawyer for the Republican National Committee told congressional staff members yesterday that the RNC is missing at least four years' worth of e-mail from White House senior adviser Karl Rove that is being sought as part of investigations into the Bush administration, according to the chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

Come on, man! This has got to be one of the most crooked administrations in recent memory.
Those emails are out there somewhere, & you just know ol' Karl (aka, Spawn of Satan) is sweating brimstone, & the three sixes on his ass are started to feel a little warm.

What men say

I'M GOING FISHING
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR...
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Means: "Are you still talking?"

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

I CAN'T FIND IT.
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

3 Generals Spurn the Position of War 'Czar'

How do you know that your time in office is pretty much doomed?
When you're fucking up executing a war on multiple fronts, & none of your generals want to run it... .

The White House wants to appoint a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies, but it has had trouble finding anyone able and willing to take the job, according to people close to the situation.

On my way to the store now.

Cocoa, not tea, calms blood pressure, study says — Yahoo News

Foods rich in cocoa appear to reduce blood pressure but drinking green and black tea may not, according to an analysis of previously published research in the Archives of Internal Medicine, published by the American Medical Association.

Nice to know

That when you don't feel well there is always someone willing to snuggle.

What the *%#@?

 
Snow?
The day before Easter?
In southwest VA?

Small but Persistent

 

Man Shoots Neighbor's Pit Bull

Who thinks the wrong guy is in jail?

Why we love New York!

 
... And Patronize Our Vendors

A tourist mom with three teens in tow halts in the middle of the block, causing two suits and several other people to crash into them.

Suit #1: For the love of God, move, you idiots! There are people walking behind you!
Tourist mom: You don't have to be so rude!
Suit #2: He's rude? You clearly see this is a busy sidewalk, and yet you stop dead in the middle and block all traffic!
Tourist mom: He didn't have to say it so rude -- we are not from around here!
Suit #1: And does that somehow excuse your being idiots and stopping in the middle of a busy street?
Tourist mom: At least we are not so rude in Tennessee!
Suit #2: That explains the idiocy, but it still isn't an excuse.
Tourist mom: That was unnecessary!
Suit #1: Perhaps, but it's true.
Suit #2: Here, maybe this is more polite: Welcome to New York. Slow walking idiots prone to stopping for no reason stay to the fucking right of busy sidewalks, and don't get in the way of the non-mentally impaired locals. Now fuck off.

--50th & 6th

via Overheard in New York, Apr 3, 2007

Chicago suit charges 'negligent dancing'

CHICAGO - A woman is suing her dance partner, claiming he dropped her on her head after flipping her into the air at an office party.
Lacey Hindman, 22, was a victim of "negligent dancing," says her lawyer, David M. Baum.

Procrastination

Every February the county sends out the forms for vehicle registration renewal, due by 31 March.
For almost the last ten years I've been on the ball about mailing them in in a timely manner, but this year I forgot all about it.
Even with the forms stuck on the front door (canary yellow), I kept forgetting them.

So here I stand with 100 or so other people standing in line on the last day.

Two cool dog blogs

I stumbled into Ranger's blog today, & he is one cool dog!
Go check him out. And you can find lots of other cool dogs in his links, too!

The other dog blog I found today is simply called Dogblog, & the author, a resident of San Francisco, captures images of all the dogs he sees there & posts them for the rest of the world's dog lovers to enjoy.

The New Mister White

This nice looking guy has lived with us for about three years or so. A former tom who showed up & made himself at home, he's put one person in the hospital, & has just about sent me there a few times as well.
Over the last few months he has become somewhat more sociable, taking an interest in the cooking that goes on, & occasionally rubbing against a leg as he passes on his way to be let out.
But this weekend, he did something brand new, that we've never experienced with him.

He PURRED! For the first time in all the years he's lived with us. Not a loud one — I only knew because I was rubbing his ears, & could feel his motor going along his throat.
I suppose that there's hope for him yet. But for God's sake, don't try & pick him up without some big-ass leather gloves on!

Growing Up? Or Just Growing Old?

We all left the gym early last night for our sort-of semi-annual dinner-out-with-dojo-funds, & found that our regular establishment, a nice restaurant for pizza, beer, et al. was packed, & that there was a long wait.
The group, being made up mostly of undergrads, decided on a place up the strip a ways that I hadn't been to in years, & didn't particularly want to go back to.
Said place is more of a bar that serves pizza, with pool tables & a variety of video games.

The pizza was cheap, & didn't taste too bad, but it was salty as all get out, & I'm still trying to drink enough water to make up for it.
The head instructor & I both noticed that it was a bit smoky, & that a beer, no matter how good, doesn't taste like itself out of a plastic pint "glass" — though none of that seemed to bother the younger crowd.
I tried to explain to a couple of the guys that when they were a few years older, they'd appreciate our sentiment, & our more developed taste. Then, blah, blah, blah, eyes glazing over as the old guy talks... .

I showered for the second time after my work out after getting home, just to get the bar smell off.

And a side of defibrillator!

 
The Bacon, Cheese and Beer Dog!
Here's some more crazy snacks from StuffMagazine.
This time, they hollow out a few hot dogs, fill them with cheese, wrap them in Bacon and deep fry them.... Mmmm... it's like a hot dog heart attack all in one convenient greasy little package!

Beer Madness

32 beers compete for the top seat

In the spirit of this single-elimination madness, Sunday Source puts 32 American beers to a blind taste test in our very own first annual (we hope) Beer Madness tournament.

WTF?!

Two days ago I was hanging out with the dogs, wearing shorts & a t-shirt, & today it's snowing again?
Thanks for the Global Climate Change, George!

Thirty things I have learned about sex from watching pR0n

• Women wear high heels to bed
• Men are never impotent
• When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory
• If a woman is caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her
• Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm
• Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle aged men
• Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob
• Women always have orgasm when men do
• A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket
• All women are noisy cummers
• Those tits are real
• A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt
• Men always groan "oh Yes" when they cum
• If there are two of them, they high five each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted)
• Double penetration makes women smile
• Asian men don't exist
• If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth
• Lesbians will always be delighted for a man to join in
• When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
• Nurses suck patient's cocks
• Men always pull out
• When your girlfriend busts you for getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking you both
• Women never have headaches, or periods
• When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it
• Assholes are clean
• A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all concerned
• Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
• When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head, and the other proudly on his hip
• Dorky guys never have to beg.

The Top 16 Rodeo Pick-Up Lines

• "Ain't no rodeo clown in the world that could keep me off *you*, Darlin'."
• "Here's my number, call me if you need a few bucks."
• "Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin' freak.'"
• "Pardon me, Ma'am -- you and your friend there interested in a little team ropin'?"
• "I can see by your Wranglers that you're a Jewish man..."
• "Er, yeah... I *am* in the Village People."
• "How'd you like to put a pinch of *me* between your cheek and gum?"
• "Them calves of yours sure look like they could use a bit of ropin'."
• "Got 8 seconds?"
• "Ropes, spurs, leather gloves -- Honey, even I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!"
• "I'll be in Intensive Care later. Why don't you drop by?"
• "You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged."
• "Honey, I *need* a belt buckle this large to keep from gettin' arrested in Mississippi."
• "Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to see me?"
• "Mooooooooo."
• "That's right, I said '*and* the horse you rode in on.'"

Time to change cable companies!

 
MESA, Ariz. - Viewers of a news show broadcast on a Phoenix-area cable television station received a lot more than news — hard-core pornography started streaming into their living rooms, replacing a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

Conditional Support

 
Courtesy of Defective Yeti.

Turkey reverses itself

At least for now.
I bet Dick Cheney was thrilled at the ban, though, just waiting 'til he could try something like that here — you know, just to stop all of those irritating free thinkers roaming the U.S.

It had to happen!

OJ enters the race.
Not for president, but to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby!

Giving new meaning to close-mindedness

 
Turkish court orders YouTube blocked

ISTANBUL, Turkey - A Turkish court ordered access to YouTube's Web site blocked on Wednesday, after a prosecutor recommended the ban because of videos allegedly insulting the founder of modern Turkey... .

Self esteem problems, Turkey? Just do like the George Bush & invade a random country after claiming they pose an imaginary threat!

Sports Injury?

Late Saturday evening, just before getting in bed, my buddy Stanley came into the house holding his back leg up, & crying pretty loudly.
We called the vet, & after talking with her, decided to take him in for an exam, since he was obviously in a good bit of pain — & since the weather might have gotten worse on Sunday, too.
We were at the clinic by 11:15, & after examining him, she decided that Stanley probably has a partial tear of his ACL in his right hind leg.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't out shootin' hoops with his buds, or playing softball, so we're really not sure how it happened.
He did, however, have the distinctive smell that one might pick up running haphazardly through the cow pasture up above our house.
Our best guess is that he was being chased by something a good bit larger than he is, & caught & twisted his leg as he headed for home.

Four years ago, he came home with a good-sized bite on his left hind leg, that chomped down hard enough to break it! We're thinkin' raccoon for both incidences, especially since Stanley is very wary around other cats, & would much rather hide or scamper than stay & fight.

For now, he's on "bed-rest" for the week — which amounts to staying in one room of the house with his own private litter box — and taking an anti-inflammatory every day.

And, of course, certain other animals aren't happy about not being able to get in there to have a drink from their favorite sink! And Rudy has spent most of his time nose to the door, needing to make sure that Stanley is okay, & assuring us that he will nurse Stanley back to health if only we'll let him in there =)

My bad!

I can be one of those cell phone fascists who hates to hear someone's phone ringing when there should be no phones ringing.
Imagine my embarrassment at dojo when my phone starting going off during the first part of class!

I cannot remember the last time my phone wasn't set either to vibrate, or turned off completely during class. Seems I had a monthly event on my calendar, so it kept trying to remind me — every ten minutes!
Of course, I was thinking to myself, "What jerk left their phone on during class?!" Then I got to thinking about what date it was, & that I had set the alarm earlier so that I could grab a quick snooze before class... .

Smiles & Hooray

It sounds as if Mordred T. Dog is on the mend again.

Because she has nothing better to do

Lawmaker Tries To Ban Naked Lady Mudflaps

PHOENIX -- It's still going to be legal in Arizona for trucks to have splash guards with racist terms and silhouettes of naked women.
The state House on Thursday rejected a Democratic amendment that would have banned splash guards with images that are "obscene or hateful."

The hottest new Bluetooth Handset

From Thinkgeek.com

A Valentine's Day he'll never forget

Woman ties up lover, drinks his blood
The Arizona Republic

Feb. 14, 2007 03:26 PM — Tiffany Sutton apparently wanted to drink up her lover on Valentine's Day - literally, authorities said.

Valentine's Day Numbers

• $16.90 billion: Amount expected to be spent this Valentine's Day.
• $156.22: Amount the average man is expected to spend on his significant other.
• $85.08: Amount the average woman is expected to spend on her significant other.
• 6: Percentage of men who typically receive Valentine's Day gifts.
• 75: Percentage of people who said they feel that receiving a gift is a welcome and affectionate gesture but not really necessary.
• 34: Percentage of women who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.
• 18: Percentage of men who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.

Valentine's Day gifts

• The majority of men (74 percent) said they plan on purchasing a special dinner, followed by flowers (68 percent) and candy (51 percent).
• Sixty-one percent of women said they also plan to purchase a special dinner on Valentine's Day, followed by music, books, DVDs or games (45 percent) and candy (42 percent).

SOURCES: Discover Card Valentine's Day Shopping Survey, National Retail Federation 2007 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, National Confectioners Association.

Breaking the Sound Barrier

Today, Chuck Yeager, the pilot who broke the sound barrier, turns 84.
Now he's breaking the sound barrier again.
This time with a new hearing aid!

Did Bud Super Bowl Commercial Rip Off The Whitest Kids?

It's starting to look that way... .

Virginia, More Backward than You Imagined!

House Advances Bill to Punish Forced Miscarriages

RICHMOND, Feb. 5 -- The Virginia House of Delegates gave tentative approval Monday to a bill to make it a felony for a woman to cause her own miscarriage but rejected a proposal to give fertilized eggs and fetuses the "right to enjoyment of life".

NAACP, Clemson investigating off-campus party

 
White kids drinking Malt Liquor.
What's the world coming to?

Ya think?

Woman held in daughters' fatal stabbings
Three small dogs and a pet mouse were also found dead in the home, & according to the police the woman may have had "some mental health issues."
Ya think!?

Annoy-a-Tron

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron would be useless against an army of Snowbots, but it's very effective at disturbing that guy in the sales department or your "friend" down the hall. With its thin design and embedded magnet for easy hiding, the Annoy-a-tron can be placed in a variety of locations. Select one of the three sound choices (2 kHz, 12 kHz, or alternating) and push the switch to the on position. Place it in a proper hiding spot and let the "fun" begin.

SkyVogue Old-Fashioned USB Internet Phone

Courtesy of Woot

Someone needs to be taken & shot!

 

(Newark - WABC, January 17, 2007) - The Associated Humane Societies and the New Jersey Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals have each offered a $2,500 reward for information leading to the arrest of a person who apparently sodomized a dog in Newark.

The Associated Humane Societies is asking anyone who has any information about this incident to come forward. A $12,000 reward has been posted. If someone is convicted of the crime, penalties range up to $7,500 in fines and 18 months behind bars. The Associated Humane Societies would be grateful for any donations towards the cost of Kate's medical care.
Anyone wishing to adopt Kate can go online to www.ahscares.org and fill out an application form or send an email to associatedhumane@aol.com or send a note requesting an application to Associated Humane, 124 Evergreen Avenue, Newark, NJ 07114.

The Return of the King

Finally.
It's been 8 months, but Hank is back with all new episodes of King of the Hill!
It is the second-longest continuously running animated comedy on American television, behind only The Simpsons.

A Wake-Up Call to Microsoft's PR Team

From the Desk of David Pogue:

Several bloggers reported last week that they had received Acer Ferrari laptops, which can sell for more than $2,200, from Microsoft. A spokeswoman for Microsoft confirmed on Friday that the company had sent out about 90 computers to bloggers who write about technology and other subjects" that could be affected by the release of Windows Vista, Microsoft's new operating system....

Clearly, they're exploiting the lawless, Brave New World of the blogsophere, where, since they're Not Quite Journalists, they don't feel constrained by any of those pesky journalistic ethics guidelines. Like the one that says, "You don't keep $2,200 gifts from the subject of your review. You might think you can still write an impartial review, but it's highly unlikely-and either way, nobody will believe it."

Read David's entire post to see more of Microsoft's PR gaffes from the past!

Finally, science lives up to our expectations!

Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts

Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

Can life get any better?
It's hard to fathom... .

Now these look fun!

Plush Animal Speakers

They'll never have a dull musical moment once they perch these monkey or penguin speakers on their desk or bookshelf.
Each animal's fuzzy coat surrounds a full-range speaker and volume control for clear, habitat-shaking sound.

And only 25 bucks!

This is why you always take a friend!

 
Man sues over penis tattoo

A football fan is suing a tattooist who drew a penis on his back instead of his favourite team's badge.

Americans prefer computer to spouse, survey says

This, according to Kelton Research Inc

January 23, 2007 (IDG News Service)
Sixty-five percent of Americans polled said they spend more time with their home computer than their spouse or significant other, according to research released yesterday by Kelton Research Inc.
Those who chose computer over companion don't seem to get much satisfaction from their inanimate partner... .

It's like pinball...

But with SUV's!

Lohan's rehab plan?

Woman returns after 18 years in jungle

HANOI (Reuters Life!) - A woman has been returned to her home in Vietnam's Central Highlands 18 years after she went missing as an eight-year old girl tending cows near the Cambodian border

I'd love to send Twitney, Lyndsay, & Paris into the jungles of anywhere for eighteen years!

Poetry in my spam

When your penis is sad and it’s making you mad
(and that's where I stopped reading).

Enjoying Technology's Conveniences But Not Escaping Its Watchful Eyes

Source: washingtonpost.com

Every Internet search resides on a computer somewhere. Comings and goings are monitored by security cameras. Phone calls are logged by telecommunications companies.

Makes ya think!

Hard Adjustment

After drinking triple espressos all weekend to get stuff done, it's hard to go back to the ol' double shot on a work day!

Somalia targets survived, U.S. says

Source: Los Angeles Times

NAIROBI, KENYA — None of the three most-wanted Al Qaeda suspects believed to be hiding in southern Somalia were killed by a U.S. airstrike this week, a senior U.S. official here said Thursday.

Nice to know that we killed a bunch of innocent people & shot up the countryside for nothing.
Go, George!

Best New Product of the Year?

S.F. company launches 'Meth Coffee'

SAN FRANCISCO - A mysterious San Francisco company has launched an equally mysterious product aimed at coffee drinkers seeking an extra boost. The company and the product share the same name — Meth Coffee.

Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fight

The name says it all!

Doughnuts will no longer be served to Franklin County jail inmates

Inmates Lose Doughnut Privileges - Food News

County Commissioner Mary Jo Kilroy put a $55,000 annual contract for the doughnuts on hold last month over questions about their nutritional value and trans-fat content.

Wait - There are questions about their nutritional value?
Since when?

Doesn't work the way you'd think.

Due to a virus in the system, we've had no internet access at all today.
Surprisingly, I haven't gotten any more work done than usual!
I wonder how many games of solitare & minesweeper have been played across campus today... ?

I'm shocked! Shocked, I say.

Group: ExxonMobil paid to mislead public.

According to the report, ExxonMobil has funneled nearly $16 million between 1998 and 2005 to a network of 43 advocacy organizations that seek to confuse the public on global warming science.
"ExxonMobil has manufactured uncertainty about the human causes of global warming just as tobacco companies denied their product caused lung cancer," said Alden Meyer, the Union of Concerned Scientists' Director of Strategy & Policy. "A modest but effective investment has allowed the oil giant to fuel doubt about global warming to delay government action just as Big Tobacco did for over 40 years."

FBI Reports Duct-Taping, 'Baptizing' at Guantanamo

FBI Reports Duct-Taping, 'Baptizing' at Guantanamo
Gee, I just can't imagine why the Islamic world isn't flocking to our shores to join the Republican party!

• ...one interrogator bragged to an FBI agent that he had forced a prisoner to listen to "Satanic black metal music for hours," then dressed as a Catholic priest before "baptizing" him.
• interrogators wrapped a bearded prisoner's head in duct tape "because he would not stop quoting the Koran,"
• female interrogators would sometimes wet their hands and touch detainees' faces in order to interrupt their prayers. Such actions would make some Muslims consider themselves unclean and unable to continue praying.

How much more indignities will we let our government put upon these men, who the US has apparently forgotten are also human beings?

A tasty new drink for the new year =)

Espresso Martini

• 1 shot espresso
• 3/4 oz. Kahlua
• 3/4 oz. vodka

"Frost" the rim of a cocktail glass (rub the rim of the glass with lemon juice, then coat with superfine sugar.)
Shake ingredients in a shaker half-filled with cracked ice.
Strain into the frosted rim glass.

Glad to have that cleared up!

12PM Why You Hire Talking Dogs Is Beyond Me

Male employee: I want you to know, Cindy* will be complaining to you about something I said to her. It's all a lie, though.
Manager #1: Oookay...
Male employee: She's gonna say I called her a 'dirty fucking cunt.'
Manager #2: Ohhh, boy...
Male employee: But it's bullshit. I called her a 'dirty fucking bitch.' I don't use the 'C'-word.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
via Overheard in the Office, Dec 29, 2006

Uh-Oh!

 

Ice mass snaps free from Canada's Arctic

TORONTO - A giant ice shelf the size of 11,000 football fields has snapped free from Canada's Arctic, scientists said. The mass of ice broke clear 16 months ago from the coast of Ellesmere Island, about 497 miles south of the North Pole, but no one was present to see it in Canada's remote north. Scientists using satellite images later noticed that it became a newly formed ice island in just an hour and left a trail of icy boulders floating in its wake.

Catching up

After a long holiday weekend, Rudy needs some down time to catch up on his correspondence.

The Audacity!

I just found a great open source sound editor for Windows in Audacity.
The big excitement for me is that I have a large case of tape cassettes that I would love to have on my iPod without having to buy all of that music again.
Way to go, Open Source community!

Global Orgasm - Peace through Global Ecstasy

Peace through Global Ecstasy

Participate on the 22nd, and tell your friends! The response to the Global Orgasm project has been overwhelmingly positive, thanks to all of you. Remember to do your part to contribute to peace around the globe.

I am so there!

This is your wake up call!

The answer to global warming?

 
Small nuclear war could lead to cooldown - Yahoo! News

Nativity Jesus replaced with beer can

PLAISTOW, N.H. - A homeowner said Friday that whoever stole the baby Jesus from his manger scene was disrespectful by replacing it with an empty beer can.

The thief could have at least replace it with a full beer can!
    Source: Nativity Jesus replaced with beer can - Yahoo! News

What all the kids are gonna want for Christmas!

Edible squid-flavored postcards

I really don't get the whole reality TV thing

But even so, this might be humorous - for a minute or two.
Four new reality shows about women:

The women of My Bare Lady (Fox Reality, Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET) will actually appear on the London stage. The premise of the four-episode series—to apprehend the premise is to get the whole joke—is that four porn starlets head to England, take a crash course in acting, and make their debut on the legitimate stage. It's been reported that the play is Anton Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard, and I'm disinclined to report anything otherwise, as the title is just too perfect. I'm not familiar with the actresses—Nautica Thorn (Fashionably Laid, Good Girls Doing Bad Things 2), Kirsten Price (Put It Wherever 2, Hand to Mouth), Sasha Knox (Service Animals 23, Service Animals 24), and Chanel St. James (Jenna's Provocateur, Chanel No. 1)—but you must admit that those titles also suggest promise. Thursday's episode features an audition sequence in which the women, along with their colleagues who did not make the cut, read from the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet, and the producers have a lot of fun with the various mispronunciations of Montague heaved forth. Despite the sneer on its face and the thinness in its soul, My Bare Lady is intermittently entertaining, so be careful if you come across it. Reality television is out to identify every perversity there is.

The real reason we went to war!

Iraqi marshlands partially restored
Bush just couldn't admit to the world that he's a closet environmentalist. His family & all their oil industry friends would have disowned him!

Iraq Study Group: The Way Forward

Download the report, appendices, & summary in separate PDF files.

Kid Rock & Pamela Custoday battle

 

Hezbollah Video Dating Service

 

Know when to hold 'em...

 
Jackpot blunder man begs for job back

Beer Goggles Explained

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

Where:
An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

Kansas Outlaws evolution!

Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

TOPEKA, KS—Any living being that undergoes genetic modification favoring survival could face jail time under the new law.

Everyone loves yogurt!

Seagate CEO: I help people "watch porn"

Let's face it, we're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap - and watch porn.

Source:
A candid interview with Seagate's CEO - Nov. 30, 2006

Bush: AIDS Pandemic 'Can Be Defeated'

President Bush marked Worlds AIDS Day as a time to remember the United States' responsibility to help the 39 million people living with the disease around the world.

Just like we've helped the Iraqis since they greeted us as liberators & threw flowers at our feet!
Oh, wait, those aren't flowers, they're roadside bombs... .

Source: Bush: AIDS Pandemic 'Can Be Defeated'

Going Christmas Shopping, Honey

 
I'll be back in the morning!

Doritos Anyone?

Spilled Doritos chips wash up on Outer Banks

Chess players to face anti-doping measures

Chess players to face anti-doping measures — because all those steroids make their fingers too fat to pick up the little pieces on the board.