What men say

I'M GOING FISHING
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR...
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Means: "Are you still talking?"

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

I CAN'T FIND IT.
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."