Man Shoots Neighbor's Pit Bull

Who thinks the wrong guy is in jail?

Why we love New York!

 
... And Patronize Our Vendors

A tourist mom with three teens in tow halts in the middle of the block, causing two suits and several other people to crash into them.

Suit #1: For the love of God, move, you idiots! There are people walking behind you!
Tourist mom: You don't have to be so rude!
Suit #2: He's rude? You clearly see this is a busy sidewalk, and yet you stop dead in the middle and block all traffic!
Tourist mom: He didn't have to say it so rude -- we are not from around here!
Suit #1: And does that somehow excuse your being idiots and stopping in the middle of a busy street?
Tourist mom: At least we are not so rude in Tennessee!
Suit #2: That explains the idiocy, but it still isn't an excuse.
Tourist mom: That was unnecessary!
Suit #1: Perhaps, but it's true.
Suit #2: Here, maybe this is more polite: Welcome to New York. Slow walking idiots prone to stopping for no reason stay to the fucking right of busy sidewalks, and don't get in the way of the non-mentally impaired locals. Now fuck off.

--50th & 6th

via Overheard in New York, Apr 3, 2007

Chicago suit charges 'negligent dancing'

CHICAGO - A woman is suing her dance partner, claiming he dropped her on her head after flipping her into the air at an office party.
Lacey Hindman, 22, was a victim of "negligent dancing," says her lawyer, David M. Baum.

Procrastination

Every February the county sends out the forms for vehicle registration renewal, due by 31 March.
For almost the last ten years I've been on the ball about mailing them in in a timely manner, but this year I forgot all about it.
Even with the forms stuck on the front door (canary yellow), I kept forgetting them.

So here I stand with 100 or so other people standing in line on the last day.

Two cool dog blogs

I stumbled into Ranger's blog today, & he is one cool dog!
Go check him out. And you can find lots of other cool dogs in his links, too!

The other dog blog I found today is simply called Dogblog, & the author, a resident of San Francisco, captures images of all the dogs he sees there & posts them for the rest of the world's dog lovers to enjoy.

The New Mister White

This nice looking guy has lived with us for about three years or so. A former tom who showed up & made himself at home, he's put one person in the hospital, & has just about sent me there a few times as well.
Over the last few months he has become somewhat more sociable, taking an interest in the cooking that goes on, & occasionally rubbing against a leg as he passes on his way to be let out.
But this weekend, he did something brand new, that we've never experienced with him.

He PURRED! For the first time in all the years he's lived with us. Not a loud one — I only knew because I was rubbing his ears, & could feel his motor going along his throat.
I suppose that there's hope for him yet. But for God's sake, don't try & pick him up without some big-ass leather gloves on!

Growing Up? Or Just Growing Old?

We all left the gym early last night for our sort-of semi-annual dinner-out-with-dojo-funds, & found that our regular establishment, a nice restaurant for pizza, beer, et al. was packed, & that there was a long wait.
The group, being made up mostly of undergrads, decided on a place up the strip a ways that I hadn't been to in years, & didn't particularly want to go back to.
Said place is more of a bar that serves pizza, with pool tables & a variety of video games.

The pizza was cheap, & didn't taste too bad, but it was salty as all get out, & I'm still trying to drink enough water to make up for it.
The head instructor & I both noticed that it was a bit smoky, & that a beer, no matter how good, doesn't taste like itself out of a plastic pint "glass" — though none of that seemed to bother the younger crowd.
I tried to explain to a couple of the guys that when they were a few years older, they'd appreciate our sentiment, & our more developed taste. Then, blah, blah, blah, eyes glazing over as the old guy talks... .

I showered for the second time after my work out after getting home, just to get the bar smell off.

And a side of defibrillator!

 
The Bacon, Cheese and Beer Dog!
Here's some more crazy snacks from StuffMagazine.
This time, they hollow out a few hot dogs, fill them with cheese, wrap them in Bacon and deep fry them.... Mmmm... it's like a hot dog heart attack all in one convenient greasy little package!

Beer Madness

32 beers compete for the top seat

In the spirit of this single-elimination madness, Sunday Source puts 32 American beers to a blind taste test in our very own first annual (we hope) Beer Madness tournament.

WTF?!

Two days ago I was hanging out with the dogs, wearing shorts & a t-shirt, & today it's snowing again?
Thanks for the Global Climate Change, George!

Thirty things I have learned about sex from watching pR0n

• Women wear high heels to bed
• Men are never impotent
• When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory
• If a woman is caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her
• Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm
• Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle aged men
• Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob
• Women always have orgasm when men do
• A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket
• All women are noisy cummers
• Those tits are real
• A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt
• Men always groan "oh Yes" when they cum
• If there are two of them, they high five each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted)
• Double penetration makes women smile
• Asian men don't exist
• If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth
• Lesbians will always be delighted for a man to join in
• When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
• Nurses suck patient's cocks
• Men always pull out
• When your girlfriend busts you for getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking you both
• Women never have headaches, or periods
• When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it
• Assholes are clean
• A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all concerned
• Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
• When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head, and the other proudly on his hip
• Dorky guys never have to beg.

The Top 16 Rodeo Pick-Up Lines

• "Ain't no rodeo clown in the world that could keep me off *you*, Darlin'."
• "Here's my number, call me if you need a few bucks."
• "Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin' freak.'"
• "Pardon me, Ma'am -- you and your friend there interested in a little team ropin'?"
• "I can see by your Wranglers that you're a Jewish man..."
• "Er, yeah... I *am* in the Village People."
• "How'd you like to put a pinch of *me* between your cheek and gum?"
• "Them calves of yours sure look like they could use a bit of ropin'."
• "Got 8 seconds?"
• "Ropes, spurs, leather gloves -- Honey, even I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!"
• "I'll be in Intensive Care later. Why don't you drop by?"
• "You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged."
• "Honey, I *need* a belt buckle this large to keep from gettin' arrested in Mississippi."
• "Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to see me?"
• "Mooooooooo."
• "That's right, I said '*and* the horse you rode in on.'"

Time to change cable companies!

 
MESA, Ariz. - Viewers of a news show broadcast on a Phoenix-area cable television station received a lot more than news — hard-core pornography started streaming into their living rooms, replacing a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

Conditional Support

 
Courtesy of Defective Yeti.

Turkey reverses itself

At least for now.
I bet Dick Cheney was thrilled at the ban, though, just waiting 'til he could try something like that here — you know, just to stop all of those irritating free thinkers roaming the U.S.

It had to happen!

OJ enters the race.
Not for president, but to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby!

Giving new meaning to close-mindedness

 
Turkish court orders YouTube blocked

ISTANBUL, Turkey - A Turkish court ordered access to YouTube's Web site blocked on Wednesday, after a prosecutor recommended the ban because of videos allegedly insulting the founder of modern Turkey... .

Self esteem problems, Turkey? Just do like the George Bush & invade a random country after claiming they pose an imaginary threat!

Sports Injury?

Late Saturday evening, just before getting in bed, my buddy Stanley came into the house holding his back leg up, & crying pretty loudly.
We called the vet, & after talking with her, decided to take him in for an exam, since he was obviously in a good bit of pain — & since the weather might have gotten worse on Sunday, too.
We were at the clinic by 11:15, & after examining him, she decided that Stanley probably has a partial tear of his ACL in his right hind leg.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't out shootin' hoops with his buds, or playing softball, so we're really not sure how it happened.
He did, however, have the distinctive smell that one might pick up running haphazardly through the cow pasture up above our house.
Our best guess is that he was being chased by something a good bit larger than he is, & caught & twisted his leg as he headed for home.

Four years ago, he came home with a good-sized bite on his left hind leg, that chomped down hard enough to break it! We're thinkin' raccoon for both incidences, especially since Stanley is very wary around other cats, & would much rather hide or scamper than stay & fight.

For now, he's on "bed-rest" for the week — which amounts to staying in one room of the house with his own private litter box — and taking an anti-inflammatory every day.

And, of course, certain other animals aren't happy about not being able to get in there to have a drink from their favorite sink! And Rudy has spent most of his time nose to the door, needing to make sure that Stanley is okay, & assuring us that he will nurse Stanley back to health if only we'll let him in there =)

My bad!

I can be one of those cell phone fascists who hates to hear someone's phone ringing when there should be no phones ringing.
Imagine my embarrassment at dojo when my phone starting going off during the first part of class!

I cannot remember the last time my phone wasn't set either to vibrate, or turned off completely during class. Seems I had a monthly event on my calendar, so it kept trying to remind me — every ten minutes!
Of course, I was thinking to myself, "What jerk left their phone on during class?!" Then I got to thinking about what date it was, & that I had set the alarm earlier so that I could grab a quick snooze before class... .

Smiles & Hooray

It sounds as if Mordred T. Dog is on the mend again.

Because she has nothing better to do

Lawmaker Tries To Ban Naked Lady Mudflaps

PHOENIX -- It's still going to be legal in Arizona for trucks to have splash guards with racist terms and silhouettes of naked women.
The state House on Thursday rejected a Democratic amendment that would have banned splash guards with images that are "obscene or hateful."

The hottest new Bluetooth Handset

From Thinkgeek.com

A Valentine's Day he'll never forget

Woman ties up lover, drinks his blood
The Arizona Republic

Feb. 14, 2007 03:26 PM — Tiffany Sutton apparently wanted to drink up her lover on Valentine's Day - literally, authorities said.

Valentine's Day Numbers

• $16.90 billion: Amount expected to be spent this Valentine's Day.
• $156.22: Amount the average man is expected to spend on his significant other.
• $85.08: Amount the average woman is expected to spend on her significant other.
• 6: Percentage of men who typically receive Valentine's Day gifts.
• 75: Percentage of people who said they feel that receiving a gift is a welcome and affectionate gesture but not really necessary.
• 34: Percentage of women who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.
• 18: Percentage of men who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.

Valentine's Day gifts

• The majority of men (74 percent) said they plan on purchasing a special dinner, followed by flowers (68 percent) and candy (51 percent).
• Sixty-one percent of women said they also plan to purchase a special dinner on Valentine's Day, followed by music, books, DVDs or games (45 percent) and candy (42 percent).

SOURCES: Discover Card Valentine's Day Shopping Survey, National Retail Federation 2007 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, National Confectioners Association.

Breaking the Sound Barrier

Today, Chuck Yeager, the pilot who broke the sound barrier, turns 84.
Now he's breaking the sound barrier again.
This time with a new hearing aid!

Did Bud Super Bowl Commercial Rip Off The Whitest Kids?

It's starting to look that way... .

Virginia, More Backward than You Imagined!

House Advances Bill to Punish Forced Miscarriages

RICHMOND, Feb. 5 -- The Virginia House of Delegates gave tentative approval Monday to a bill to make it a felony for a woman to cause her own miscarriage but rejected a proposal to give fertilized eggs and fetuses the "right to enjoyment of life".

NAACP, Clemson investigating off-campus party

 
White kids drinking Malt Liquor.
What's the world coming to?

Ya think?

Woman held in daughters' fatal stabbings
Three small dogs and a pet mouse were also found dead in the home, & according to the police the woman may have had "some mental health issues."
Ya think!?

Annoy-a-Tron

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron would be useless against an army of Snowbots, but it's very effective at disturbing that guy in the sales department or your "friend" down the hall. With its thin design and embedded magnet for easy hiding, the Annoy-a-tron can be placed in a variety of locations. Select one of the three sound choices (2 kHz, 12 kHz, or alternating) and push the switch to the on position. Place it in a proper hiding spot and let the "fun" begin.

SkyVogue Old-Fashioned USB Internet Phone

Courtesy of Woot

Someone needs to be taken & shot!

 

(Newark - WABC, January 17, 2007) - The Associated Humane Societies and the New Jersey Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals have each offered a $2,500 reward for information leading to the arrest of a person who apparently sodomized a dog in Newark.

The Associated Humane Societies is asking anyone who has any information about this incident to come forward. A $12,000 reward has been posted. If someone is convicted of the crime, penalties range up to $7,500 in fines and 18 months behind bars. The Associated Humane Societies would be grateful for any donations towards the cost of Kate's medical care.
Anyone wishing to adopt Kate can go online to www.ahscares.org and fill out an application form or send an email to associatedhumane@aol.com or send a note requesting an application to Associated Humane, 124 Evergreen Avenue, Newark, NJ 07114.

The Return of the King

Finally.
It's been 8 months, but Hank is back with all new episodes of King of the Hill!
It is the second-longest continuously running animated comedy on American television, behind only The Simpsons.

A Wake-Up Call to Microsoft's PR Team

From the Desk of David Pogue:

Several bloggers reported last week that they had received Acer Ferrari laptops, which can sell for more than $2,200, from Microsoft. A spokeswoman for Microsoft confirmed on Friday that the company had sent out about 90 computers to bloggers who write about technology and other subjects" that could be affected by the release of Windows Vista, Microsoft's new operating system....

Clearly, they're exploiting the lawless, Brave New World of the blogsophere, where, since they're Not Quite Journalists, they don't feel constrained by any of those pesky journalistic ethics guidelines. Like the one that says, "You don't keep $2,200 gifts from the subject of your review. You might think you can still write an impartial review, but it's highly unlikely-and either way, nobody will believe it."

Read David's entire post to see more of Microsoft's PR gaffes from the past!

Finally, science lives up to our expectations!

Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts

Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

Can life get any better?
It's hard to fathom... .

Now these look fun!

Plush Animal Speakers

They'll never have a dull musical moment once they perch these monkey or penguin speakers on their desk or bookshelf.
Each animal's fuzzy coat surrounds a full-range speaker and volume control for clear, habitat-shaking sound.

And only 25 bucks!

This is why you always take a friend!

 
Man sues over penis tattoo

A football fan is suing a tattooist who drew a penis on his back instead of his favourite team's badge.

Americans prefer computer to spouse, survey says

This, according to Kelton Research Inc

January 23, 2007 (IDG News Service)
Sixty-five percent of Americans polled said they spend more time with their home computer than their spouse or significant other, according to research released yesterday by Kelton Research Inc.
Those who chose computer over companion don't seem to get much satisfaction from their inanimate partner... .

It's like pinball...

But with SUV's!

Lohan's rehab plan?

Woman returns after 18 years in jungle

HANOI (Reuters Life!) - A woman has been returned to her home in Vietnam's Central Highlands 18 years after she went missing as an eight-year old girl tending cows near the Cambodian border

I'd love to send Twitney, Lyndsay, & Paris into the jungles of anywhere for eighteen years!

Poetry in my spam

When your penis is sad and it’s making you mad
(and that's where I stopped reading).

Enjoying Technology's Conveniences But Not Escaping Its Watchful Eyes

Source: washingtonpost.com

Every Internet search resides on a computer somewhere. Comings and goings are monitored by security cameras. Phone calls are logged by telecommunications companies.

Makes ya think!

Hard Adjustment

After drinking triple espressos all weekend to get stuff done, it's hard to go back to the ol' double shot on a work day!

Somalia targets survived, U.S. says

Source: Los Angeles Times

NAIROBI, KENYA — None of the three most-wanted Al Qaeda suspects believed to be hiding in southern Somalia were killed by a U.S. airstrike this week, a senior U.S. official here said Thursday.

Nice to know that we killed a bunch of innocent people & shot up the countryside for nothing.
Go, George!

Best New Product of the Year?

S.F. company launches 'Meth Coffee'

SAN FRANCISCO - A mysterious San Francisco company has launched an equally mysterious product aimed at coffee drinkers seeking an extra boost. The company and the product share the same name — Meth Coffee.

Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fight

The name says it all!

Doughnuts will no longer be served to Franklin County jail inmates

Inmates Lose Doughnut Privileges - Food News

County Commissioner Mary Jo Kilroy put a $55,000 annual contract for the doughnuts on hold last month over questions about their nutritional value and trans-fat content.

Wait - There are questions about their nutritional value?
Since when?

Doesn't work the way you'd think.

Due to a virus in the system, we've had no internet access at all today.
Surprisingly, I haven't gotten any more work done than usual!
I wonder how many games of solitare & minesweeper have been played across campus today... ?

I'm shocked! Shocked, I say.

Group: ExxonMobil paid to mislead public.

According to the report, ExxonMobil has funneled nearly $16 million between 1998 and 2005 to a network of 43 advocacy organizations that seek to confuse the public on global warming science.
"ExxonMobil has manufactured uncertainty about the human causes of global warming just as tobacco companies denied their product caused lung cancer," said Alden Meyer, the Union of Concerned Scientists' Director of Strategy & Policy. "A modest but effective investment has allowed the oil giant to fuel doubt about global warming to delay government action just as Big Tobacco did for over 40 years."

FBI Reports Duct-Taping, 'Baptizing' at Guantanamo

FBI Reports Duct-Taping, 'Baptizing' at Guantanamo
Gee, I just can't imagine why the Islamic world isn't flocking to our shores to join the Republican party!

• ...one interrogator bragged to an FBI agent that he had forced a prisoner to listen to "Satanic black metal music for hours," then dressed as a Catholic priest before "baptizing" him.
• interrogators wrapped a bearded prisoner's head in duct tape "because he would not stop quoting the Koran,"
• female interrogators would sometimes wet their hands and touch detainees' faces in order to interrupt their prayers. Such actions would make some Muslims consider themselves unclean and unable to continue praying.

How much more indignities will we let our government put upon these men, who the US has apparently forgotten are also human beings?

A tasty new drink for the new year =)

Espresso Martini

• 1 shot espresso
• 3/4 oz. Kahlua
• 3/4 oz. vodka

"Frost" the rim of a cocktail glass (rub the rim of the glass with lemon juice, then coat with superfine sugar.)
Shake ingredients in a shaker half-filled with cracked ice.
Strain into the frosted rim glass.

Glad to have that cleared up!

12PM Why You Hire Talking Dogs Is Beyond Me

Male employee: I want you to know, Cindy* will be complaining to you about something I said to her. It's all a lie, though.
Manager #1: Oookay...
Male employee: She's gonna say I called her a 'dirty fucking cunt.'
Manager #2: Ohhh, boy...
Male employee: But it's bullshit. I called her a 'dirty fucking bitch.' I don't use the 'C'-word.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
via Overheard in the Office, Dec 29, 2006

Uh-Oh!

 

Ice mass snaps free from Canada's Arctic

TORONTO - A giant ice shelf the size of 11,000 football fields has snapped free from Canada's Arctic, scientists said. The mass of ice broke clear 16 months ago from the coast of Ellesmere Island, about 497 miles south of the North Pole, but no one was present to see it in Canada's remote north. Scientists using satellite images later noticed that it became a newly formed ice island in just an hour and left a trail of icy boulders floating in its wake.

Catching up

After a long holiday weekend, Rudy needs some down time to catch up on his correspondence.

The Audacity!

I just found a great open source sound editor for Windows in Audacity.
The big excitement for me is that I have a large case of tape cassettes that I would love to have on my iPod without having to buy all of that music again.
Way to go, Open Source community!

Global Orgasm - Peace through Global Ecstasy

Peace through Global Ecstasy

Participate on the 22nd, and tell your friends! The response to the Global Orgasm project has been overwhelmingly positive, thanks to all of you. Remember to do your part to contribute to peace around the globe.

I am so there!

This is your wake up call!

The answer to global warming?

 
Small nuclear war could lead to cooldown - Yahoo! News

Nativity Jesus replaced with beer can

PLAISTOW, N.H. - A homeowner said Friday that whoever stole the baby Jesus from his manger scene was disrespectful by replacing it with an empty beer can.

The thief could have at least replace it with a full beer can!
    Source: Nativity Jesus replaced with beer can - Yahoo! News

What all the kids are gonna want for Christmas!

Edible squid-flavored postcards

I really don't get the whole reality TV thing

But even so, this might be humorous - for a minute or two.
Four new reality shows about women:

The women of My Bare Lady (Fox Reality, Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET) will actually appear on the London stage. The premise of the four-episode series—to apprehend the premise is to get the whole joke—is that four porn starlets head to England, take a crash course in acting, and make their debut on the legitimate stage. It's been reported that the play is Anton Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard, and I'm disinclined to report anything otherwise, as the title is just too perfect. I'm not familiar with the actresses—Nautica Thorn (Fashionably Laid, Good Girls Doing Bad Things 2), Kirsten Price (Put It Wherever 2, Hand to Mouth), Sasha Knox (Service Animals 23, Service Animals 24), and Chanel St. James (Jenna's Provocateur, Chanel No. 1)—but you must admit that those titles also suggest promise. Thursday's episode features an audition sequence in which the women, along with their colleagues who did not make the cut, read from the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet, and the producers have a lot of fun with the various mispronunciations of Montague heaved forth. Despite the sneer on its face and the thinness in its soul, My Bare Lady is intermittently entertaining, so be careful if you come across it. Reality television is out to identify every perversity there is.

The real reason we went to war!

Iraqi marshlands partially restored
Bush just couldn't admit to the world that he's a closet environmentalist. His family & all their oil industry friends would have disowned him!

Iraq Study Group: The Way Forward

Download the report, appendices, & summary in separate PDF files.

Kid Rock & Pamela Custoday battle

 

Hezbollah Video Dating Service

 

Know when to hold 'em...

 
Jackpot blunder man begs for job back

Beer Goggles Explained

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

Where:
An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

Kansas Outlaws evolution!

Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

TOPEKA, KS—Any living being that undergoes genetic modification favoring survival could face jail time under the new law.

Everyone loves yogurt!

Seagate CEO: I help people "watch porn"

Let's face it, we're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap - and watch porn.

Source:
A candid interview with Seagate's CEO - Nov. 30, 2006

Bush: AIDS Pandemic 'Can Be Defeated'

President Bush marked Worlds AIDS Day as a time to remember the United States' responsibility to help the 39 million people living with the disease around the world.

Just like we've helped the Iraqis since they greeted us as liberators & threw flowers at our feet!
Oh, wait, those aren't flowers, they're roadside bombs... .

Source: Bush: AIDS Pandemic 'Can Be Defeated'

Going Christmas Shopping, Honey

 
I'll be back in the morning!

Doritos Anyone?

Spilled Doritos chips wash up on Outer Banks

Chess players to face anti-doping measures

Chess players to face anti-doping measures — because all those steroids make their fingers too fat to pick up the little pieces on the board.

Squirrel Melt, Anyone?

 

Honesty comes to Craigslist!

Make me food while I drink beer. - m4w

I am a 23/M/beeroholic, looking for a woman to make me food... While I drink beer.
If you do a good job with cooking I will have sex with you. But only if I can still get it up.

You must be:
Sexy.
If your vagina is gaping, don't reply
No fatties.
18+ and have sensitive nipples.

My favorite foods:
Pizza, burgers, spaghetti, beer.
You may make any of these while I drink beer.

A Thanksgiving Budget

Here's how 1,000 calories add up (courtesy of the Lean Plate Club):

• about four ounces of turkey


• half a cup of stuffing


• salad


• green beans


• sweet potatoes


• cranberry sauce


• a roll


• a glass of wine


• and a slice of pumpkin pie.

Of course, I had three smallish rolls, seconds on the sweet potatoes, and at least four glasses of wine.
But I took a long walk later with the dogs!
And no comments at all on the earlier feast at work!

Not Spam?

I can't believe this text got past my spam filters!?

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A Christmas Classic

From SNL!

Internet Explorer 7 Proves Buggy Already

Internet Explorer 7 Proves Buggy Already

IE 7 is not a panacea, in part because it still ties in to Windows for some of its work and can therefore pass along threats from buggy parts of the operating system (or other programs). We've seen a number of these types of problems recently, and now three more have been reported.

Dog is my co-pilot.

Finally, a good use for that internet thing!

Internet Extends Reach Of Bangladeshi Villagers - washingtonpost.com

Cellphone-Linked Computers Help Break Rural Isolation

While I agree...

...that no one may care what I had for lunch, there is a wonderful catering company located in our building, & they had extra today from a senior citizens Thanksgiving luncheon.

Is it rude go back for seconds on free food, even if you have to walk down three flights of stairs?
I mean, I'll probably totally work off those mashed potatoes on my way back down, right?
And then there's that nice dessert plate that I need to take back to them... . Maybe they've moved the other desserts to a carryout plate by now.

All of which begs the question, "Is it still ala mode if you put banana pudding on your peach pie?"

Childcare 101a

I sent this link to a couple of my co-workers.
One was upset because she thought it was an actual product.
Another was upset because he realized it wasn't!

Apple's new mp3 player

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts, and not listening to them.
And give a whole new meaning to the term surround sound!

Sigh...

Toys for Tots will now accept talking Jesus dolls

I'm sure they'll be passing them out to all the Jesus loving boys girls in Baghdad this Christmas... .

Get one for everybody on your Christmas list!

The ever-popular Interchangeable Rectal Dummy
The set includes an adult lumbar torso, normal rectal unit, rectal cancer A unit, rectal cancer B unit, rectal unit with polyps, prostate model, endocervix model, a jar of Vaseline and a handy carrying case.
The four different rectal units can easily swap in and out.
Get yo palpation on, word.

Creepy or Cool?

LifeGem:
Memorial Diamonds created from a lock of hair or cremated remains.

To desire a LifeGem diamond can mean only one thing.
You have experienced a love without equal.
You have had someone truly special in your life and mere words simply will not do.
Love knows no boundaries.
Love knows no end.

I wonder what kind of carat weight per pound can you expect in return?

Sooo.....

If you were to shave off your beard, & your wife didn't notice,
would that be a bad sign??

Thanks, Bob!

I was talking with one of the receptionists in our office yesterday, & she mentioned that her husband had a couple of extra deer shoulders that he was trying to find homes for.
Of course, I jumped at that chance, & now there is one are two four in the fridge!
Now we're trying to decide if we can cut it up ourselves, or if it would be wiser to take it to one of the local processing sites to have it done for us.
(Now that there are four of them in there instead of just one, I'm leaning towards letting the pros do the job for us... .)
From what I can find online, there is a shoulder roast (obviously), and the rest can come off the shank as stew meat, or burger.
And I know a couple of dogs who would just love to help out with the cleanup, too!

So thanks, Bob; we'll enjoy it immensely.

More noise than I've heard in a while

Apparently my boss lost his wallet somewhere in the course of the late morning/early afternoon.
I can't remember the last time I've heard such nasty, angry language coming out of his office, especially since it wasn't work related!
I foresee tequila in his future.
 

The Way it Works (cont.)

So I finished their project in a 20 hour turn-around time, because it was sooo urgent.
That was a week ago, & they can't seem to get around to approving it for distribution...
Because they have no idea how to treat people!

Who knew?

I would never have guessed that they have a world championship competition... .
Now, how do I get tickets to the next event?

Rumsfeld to Step Down as Defense Secretary

Rumsfeld to Step Down as Defense Secretary - washingtonpost.com

Beer lovers must have!

I definitely have to get one of these!
 

Best Cat Toy Ever!

Stuck in Irak

An Open Letter

This has been around for a while, but it's still true.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

• They live here. You don't.
• If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
  (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
• I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
• To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

• Eat less
• Don't ask for money all the time
• Are easier to train
• Normally come when called
• Never ask to drive the car
• Don't hang out with drug-using friends
• Don't smoke or drink
• Don't have to buy the latest fashions
• Don't want to wear your clothes
• Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
• If they get pregnant, you can sell (or give away) their children

The Way it Works

A few weeks ago, one of our Graphic Designers approached me about an upcoming project; the new Pres wanted to send out an HTML newsletter & he would be working on the design, then sending it to me to get it to work.

In the past we have chosen not to send mass HTML email to our directory lists, because how it looks in the end is largely up to the user, & what client they use, how they've set their preferences. It's also generally accepted that HTML mailing lists should be opt-in, so that users are, in fact, getting what they want.

I checked with the designer a few times & he hadn't gotten any more info from the Great Poobah, so I tried not to think about it too much.

He called me at 4:00 this afternoon, & said that they had finally sent him the info he needed to get the layout going.
Oh, & by the way, they want to see something tomorrow... .

Idiots!

More Empowerment

Expanding from their original site, Hollaback NYC now links to fourteen other hollaback-ish sites from other areas in the U.S & Canada.

• HollaBackARKANSAS


• HollaBackBOSTON


• HollaBackCALIFORNIA


• HollaBackCANADA


• HollaBackCAPEANN


• HollaBackCHICAGO


• HollaBackCOLORADO


• HollaBackDC


• HollaBackMIAMI


• HollaBackPACIFICNORTHWEST


• HollaBackPENNSYLVANIA


• HollaBackSANFRANCISO


• HollaBackSEATTLE


• HollaBackTEXAS
  

Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd's fantasy. So stop walkin' on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers!