Nothing says Love..

Like dragging them behind your van!

Ouchie!

But still a cool party trick.

Famous Last Words

"And I'm going to prove it to you," uttered by Robert E. Murray, chairman of mine owner Murray Energy Corp.
"This was caused by an earthquake, not something that Murray Energy ... did or our employees did or our management did."

Seems the seismologists think the mine collapse caused the ruckus picked up by their instruments, & the mine operators are absolutely sure that an earthquake caused the collapse.
Just off the top of my head, I'm more willing to go with the scientists & their cool instruments to back up the findings than I am with a hot-headed CEO out to save profit margin. Oh yeah, & his ass... .

The Official "Vick" Chew Toy

Get yours now!
Or at least put in an order — they're on back order until September.
My boys are gonna love 'em, I can tell.

And we're worried about Iran?

Weapons Given to Iraq Are Missing

Monday, August 6, 2007
The Pentagon has lost track of about 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to Iraqi security forces in 2004 and 2005, according to a new government report, raising fears that some of those weapons have fallen into the hands of insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq.

I hate it when that happens!

Bondage couple lose key

A German couple had to call out the fire brigade after tying each other up in chains - and then losing the key to the padlock.
Jochen Ranstett, 56 and his wife Maria, from the town of Weiden, dressed up in leathers and chained each other to their beds, but lost the key during the romp.
After hours of trying to free themselves they finally gave up and called for help on Jochen's mobile phone.
He said: "It was so embarrassing. We just wanted to try something a bit different and we ended up with this.
"I even had to be taken to hospital because my wrists had swollen so much from trying to get out of the handcuffs."

Tough Love

Sicilian mother cuts off 61-yr-old son's allowance

ROME (Reuters) - A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son's house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.

And who doesn't need some of these?

Anti-Pervert Panties Block IR

In Japan, riding the train in a skirt is still an invitation to have your ass grabbed or photographed by some random perv. These days, there's a more advanced threat: cameraphones with IR night vision can be tweaked to see through clothes. Cramer Japan made these nylon and polyurethane panties that block IR, hampering the photographs. The name of the undies? ShotGuard Inner Shorts. The company is planning bras made from the same material.

I enjoy my afternoon tea

But that's just not enough caffeine anymore for the afternoon.
It may be time to put one of these babies on my desk.

Totally Zonked

Such a tough life, eh?

Nursing home cat can sense death, ease passing

CHICAGO (Reuters) - When Oscar the Cat visits residents of the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island, the staff jumps into action -- Oscar can sense within hours when someone is about to die.

And you just know that it makes the residents feel great when they see Oscar coming into their room, right?

What's that smell?

I was watching the morning news this morning, & left the room briefly. When I returned, I could still hear the newscaster, but the picture was pretty much gone.
"That's odd", I thought. So I changed the channel, & found the same on all the stations.
And there it was, that odd burning smell coming from the back of the entertainment center… .

You had a good run, Magnavox. For twelve years you've succeeded in keeping us distracted from other things we really meant to get done. And provided some good entertainment along the way, as well.

Adieù

Let's send Paris & Nicole

 

For at least a year.

What could possibly go wrong...

China to zap rain clouds with rockets.

BEIJING (Reuters) - China will fire rockets into the sky to scatter any rain clouds ahead of next year's Beijing Olympics to ensure perfect weather, state media said on Tuesday.

One Helluva Parkin' Job!

 

Rare egg laying mammal found

"Is delicious", says tribesman... .

Chill..

Welcome to the Hub, & prepare to be mellow (and crank your sub-woofer if you have one).

IHOP agrees to buy Applebee's

Now we'll be able to get pancakes & sausage with any lunch or dinner entrée!
Is this a great country, or what?

Too.. Much...

Cuteness!

I see the Pope is out to Make More Friends...

Or not.

LORENZAGO DI CADORE, Italy - Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.

Lunch, anyone?

2 billion Chinese mice overrun lake area

Finally

Maybe some good news out of Washington!
We can only hope.

Health food maker promotes "China-Free" products

'Cause when it's not China-Free, I'm always hungry in an hour anyway.

The day John met Paul

Fifty years ago at the Woolton Church Parish Fete.
I bet they had no idea... .

Local Fireworks

A good time was had by all!

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This was the first time that I've tried to shoot fireworks with a digital camera, & the results were moderately successful, I think... .

Time for a career change!!

  MIST OPPORTUNITY: JUST A DAY AT THE BEACH

Breast misting is a delicate art.
"I try and go everywhere," said Travis Emmons during my training. "No concentration."
As the "mood director" at Tao Beach, which opened on May 5 at The Venetian, it's Emmons' responsibility to stroll the deck in search of sun-worshippers who are insufficiently moistened. On a searing June afternoon, about 20 of them were attractive women who won't be sporting tan lines until August.

Good Cop, Baby Cop

Pearl's farewell performance.

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Endangered monkeys discovered in Vietnam

Scientists say, "Tastes like Chicken!"

A blow for Freedom!

 

Judge: Lap Dances Protected by Constitution

Anyone with a cat knows this is true...

Genetic Research Suggests Felines 'Domesticated Themselves'

The findings... suggest that the ancestors of today's tabbies, Persians and Siamese wandered into Near Eastern settlements at the dawn of agriculture. They were looking for food, not friendship.

Duh!

Smiling Dawg

There must be a small spherical object involved... .

And the moral of the story is...

If it goes in the water, just take the &*!@# penalty stroke!

VENICE, Florida (AP) -- A man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb when a nearly 11-foot alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water, authorities said.

A new low....

I could hear a little noise from my wife's office last night, & when I peeked in, I found her watching video online. Of Hee Haw!
I wonder if Dr. Phil will take the case... ?

Time for a Career Change?

KAMPALA
SOME 900 Kampala women call the Uganda Police emergency lines every night begging the officers for sex... .

Weather Update

There is yard work to be done this evening, & over the weekend, so I thought I'd check the Pollen Count over at AccuWeather, using the trusty ForecastFox extension for Firefox... .
The pollen index is a good thing for allergy sufferers, even if mine are fairly mild, & I can see the value of the mosquito index during the summer to follow trends & watch out for West Nile in the area.
But WTF is up with BBQ index?! You can't look outside & see that it's clear & sunny, &, "Hey, let's fire up the grill"?

WTF BBQ?

A new read

Little Kaya, a Great Dane from Australia has a photoblog, & her mom is a professional photographer, making for some great photos of this huge puppy!

Scientists say 'Iceman' died from arrow

You mean that one they found sticking out of his back?
Man, those guys are brilliant!

It sure is a Longwan!

World's largest penis erected in China.

Won't someone think of the children?

MEXICO CITY -

Mexican farmers are setting ablaze fields of blue agave, the cactus-like plant used to make the fiery spirit tequila, and resowing the land with corn as soaring U.S. ethanol demand pushes up prices.

The switch to corn will contribute to an expected scarcity of agave in coming years, with officials predicting that farmers will plant between 25 percent and 35 percent less agave this year to turn the land over to corn.

Word of the day!

BOBFOC — Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

A person who possesses a killer body but has a face that only a mother could love.

Flags by Color

Pie charts that represent the proportional amount of color in each country's national flag.
Kinda cool... .

First Therapy Dogs

Now, therapy Parrots?

An autistic boy who could not speak has learned his first words with the help of his family's pet parrot.
Dylan Hargreaves, four, has severe learning difficulties and had never uttered a single word.
But after listening to macaw Barney, he can now say "Night, night", "Dad", "Mum", "Ta", "Hello" and "Bye", reports The Sun.

Rachmaninov had big Hands

An essential part of an education in Classical music!

Those Darned Chinese..

They're at it again.
This time with poison toothpaste.

Diethylene glycol, a poisonous ingredient in some antifreeze, has been found in 6,000 tubes of toothpaste in Panama, and customs officials there said yesterday that the product appeared to have originated in China.
...the same poison that the Panamanian government inadvertently mixed into cold medicine last year, killing at least 100 people. Records show that in that episode the poison, falsely labeled as glycerin, a harmless syrup, also originated in China.

Hasn't anyone learned yet that we really should be inspecting their exports?

Woman injured in pallet mill accident

So, when they finish making a batch of pallets, what do they pack them on for shipping?

A Liberty woman suffered non-life-threatening injuries on Friday after being hurt while working at a local pallet mill.
Neli Terrones, 37, an employee at Barron Pallets Inc. on KY 1552, was loading boards into a rip saw machine at about 7:30 a.m. when her ponytail was pulled into a machine with rollers, Supervisor Gary Stafford said.

Steel Cage Matchup!

Bulldog Adopts Baby Tiger

May 12 - A French Bulldog is the adoptive mother to a Bengal tiger cub in Japan (video included).
A Bengal baby tiger that was rejected by its own mother has been adopted by an affectionate French Bulldog.
The unusual ... situation came about after the cub - which still does not have a name - was rejected by its own mother.
The tiger cub is now two weeks old and is starting to catch up in size and weight to her foster mother. Once its reaches a certain size, the zoo says the tiger cub may have to be moved to the tiger enclosure.

What Everyone is Watching Today.

What everyone is watching today:
 

Scandal Cheat Sheet

The Purgegate Primer
courtesy of The Morning News.

Here’s the problem with modern political scandals: Many of the journalists and media outlets follow the case for months—while it’s still under the radar of the American public. Then, when the scandal attracts a great deal of attention, the articles presuppose an audience as versed in the minutiae of the case as its authors. Readers interested in the big picture are left to piece together the backstory themselves.

Read Matthew Baldwin's complete essay here.

The Rock Bottom Remainders!

Playing live during an interview.

Obvious Headline of the Day

 

Iraq remains a dangerous place - Yahoo! News

BAGHDAD - Vice President
Dick Cheney said Wednesday that
Iraq remains a dangerous place, a point underscored by a thunderous explosion that rattled windows in the U.S. Embassy where he spent most of the day.

The 'headline diet' will take away your appetite

The 'headline diet' will take away your appetite in a flash

If you're looking for a dieting tip to slim down for summer, try our new headline diet. It's guaranteed to take your appetite away.
First, a salad headline, tossed with E. coli-contaminated lettuce and spinach. That E. coli comes from cow pies that taint agricultural water that then gets splashed on your salad-fixings.
Next, while waiting for our main dish, read headlines about pets all over the country falling sick and dying, and more than 100 brands of pet food being recalled.
....

Pet food recall lists

It can be hard to keep up with all of the recalled pet foods, as the list continues to expand.
The American Veterinary Medical Association keeps an updated list on its website.

Shocker...

Okay, who's really going to be surprised when we find out that it's our own fault that the honeybees are dying & our all our crop pollination goes to crap?

Didn't we learn anything after almost killing off the bald eagle with DDT, & poisoning our children at Love Canal?
Didn't we glean any smarts when the GM corn killed off beneficial insects as well as the ones we didn't want, & then found its way into crops thousands of miles from where it was supposed to be?
I guess not.

A Snapshot of My Life

Note to Self

Always be more drunk than the groom.

Where Have All the Leaders Gone?

An excerpt from Lee Iococca's new book, courtesy of Borders Books.

Had Enough?

Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.

And so forth, & so on... .

Sleeping Cuties

Just too adorable.

The perfect child — NOT!

Call Me Back When Your Aneurism Subsides

Girl on phone: Mommy, my nose is pierced, I'm marrying a girl, I'm in love with a gay boy, and I'm pregnant. One of these is false. Goodbye.

via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 22, 2007

You'll Have to Speak Up

I can't hear you over the huge dehumidifier sitting behind me.
When I came in this morning, I noticed a wet spot on the carpet of my office, & thought that rather odd, since we don't have drop ceilings, & it hasn't rained recently, anyway.

As I soaked up the small area, I noticed that is was very cold, & then remembered that maintenance had never returned to fix my thermostat.
Upon further investigation, I found that most of the carpet in the back 1/3 of my office was at least damp, so I got someone on the phone to come look at it from Facilities Management.
I was happily surprised to see them within an hour, & we began moving desks & files so they could access the HVAC unit in the wall.

Gary thinks it was just leaking around the valve (and I bet it wouldn't have, had they returned to fix the thermostat).
After turning off the valve, he promised to return in the morning to make sure no more leaks occur.

When pressed about fixing the thermostat, though, there seemed to be a good bit of head shaking, & "I thought Bug (yes, we have a guy named Bug) was going to fix that."
"No, he told me that you were going to do it... ."

As long as I have some functional environmental controls before warm weather gets here, I'll be happy.
Actually, it's usually quite warm by now, but the freakish weather has prevented that for now.

And I'm starting notice an ever so slightly unpleasant smell from the dehumidifier, as well. Nice... .
Guess I need to find a place to plug up my HEPA.

April 16th Memorial Website at Virginia Tech.

To honor and remember the victims of Monday's tragedy, the university has created the April 16 Memorial Website so individuals may share condolences, thoughts, and prayers.
NOTE: Due to extremely high volume on the memorial website, you may experience slow performance. We ask for your patience.

Evaluating the response

In various sites & media outlets, many people are moving to criticize the response of VT police & administration during the events of 16 April. This include many higher ed venues, with people looking at their own plans & procedures.
This is the response I posted on one site.

As someone who has worked for VT in various capacities, & lived in the area for a fairly long time, I'd have to say they did the best they could with what they had at the time.
If you've never been on this sprawling campus, you have no idea how hard it can be to find something that you're looking for when you don't know where, or who, it is.
The idea of shutting down a campus of 26,000 students in short time is similar to trying to shut down a small city; no easy thing.

And it is about impossible to get the full attention of a college student.
Even after the police shut down the campus, the central drill field (20+ acres large), which is fairly close to Norris Hall, was filled with students taking pictures & video of the unfolding events. These were students who had just been told to stay indoors for their own safety!
I think it is clear from subsequent information released that the VT police felt that the initial dorm shooting was an isolated incident, and that they felt that they knew the person they needed to be talking to about it, the early person of interest.
Yes, all of our universities are now looking at their emergency communication plans, but I wonder how much better anyone else would have done in the same situation?

I sincerely hope that we never find out.

The mailman always knows, right?

After watching the convocation at Virginia Tech, I was channel flipping a little before turning off the TV in our conference room, and CNN was interviewing the shooter's family's mailman... ??

VA Tech Shootings

Yes, everyone in America is blogging about the shootings, & I want to add my piece.
Starting with my thankfulness that my wife took the day off yesterday & wasn't on campus.
Her offices are on the other side of campus from where the shootings took place, & I'm sure that she wouldn't have been in any physical danger had she been there, but I'm still relieved that she wasn't there.

I've heard back from one of our martial arts students that he wasn't in the vicinity when everything went down, but am still hoping to hear from the others who may have been on campus, so that we know that they are not in the list of as yet unreleased decedents.

Hooray!

The state was kind enough to deposit my paycheck today — before the last bill I paid got to the bank, so nothing bounced!

Researchers explore scrapping Internet

Some days I feel like doing this with life in general, don't you?

Oops! They did it again.

Rove E-Mail Sought by Congress May Be Missing

A lawyer for the Republican National Committee told congressional staff members yesterday that the RNC is missing at least four years' worth of e-mail from White House senior adviser Karl Rove that is being sought as part of investigations into the Bush administration, according to the chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

Come on, man! This has got to be one of the most crooked administrations in recent memory.
Those emails are out there somewhere, & you just know ol' Karl (aka, Spawn of Satan) is sweating brimstone, & the three sixes on his ass are started to feel a little warm.

What men say

I'M GOING FISHING
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR...
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Means: "Are you still talking?"

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."

OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

I CAN'T FIND IT.
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

3 Generals Spurn the Position of War 'Czar'

How do you know that your time in office is pretty much doomed?
When you're fucking up executing a war on multiple fronts, & none of your generals want to run it... .

The White House wants to appoint a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies, but it has had trouble finding anyone able and willing to take the job, according to people close to the situation.

On my way to the store now.

Cocoa, not tea, calms blood pressure, study says — Yahoo News

Foods rich in cocoa appear to reduce blood pressure but drinking green and black tea may not, according to an analysis of previously published research in the Archives of Internal Medicine, published by the American Medical Association.

Nice to know

That when you don't feel well there is always someone willing to snuggle.

What the *%#@?

 
Snow?
The day before Easter?
In southwest VA?

Small but Persistent

 

Man Shoots Neighbor's Pit Bull

Who thinks the wrong guy is in jail?

Why we love New York!

 
... And Patronize Our Vendors

A tourist mom with three teens in tow halts in the middle of the block, causing two suits and several other people to crash into them.

Suit #1: For the love of God, move, you idiots! There are people walking behind you!
Tourist mom: You don't have to be so rude!
Suit #2: He's rude? You clearly see this is a busy sidewalk, and yet you stop dead in the middle and block all traffic!
Tourist mom: He didn't have to say it so rude -- we are not from around here!
Suit #1: And does that somehow excuse your being idiots and stopping in the middle of a busy street?
Tourist mom: At least we are not so rude in Tennessee!
Suit #2: That explains the idiocy, but it still isn't an excuse.
Tourist mom: That was unnecessary!
Suit #1: Perhaps, but it's true.
Suit #2: Here, maybe this is more polite: Welcome to New York. Slow walking idiots prone to stopping for no reason stay to the fucking right of busy sidewalks, and don't get in the way of the non-mentally impaired locals. Now fuck off.

--50th & 6th

via Overheard in New York, Apr 3, 2007

Chicago suit charges 'negligent dancing'

CHICAGO - A woman is suing her dance partner, claiming he dropped her on her head after flipping her into the air at an office party.
Lacey Hindman, 22, was a victim of "negligent dancing," says her lawyer, David M. Baum.

Procrastination

Every February the county sends out the forms for vehicle registration renewal, due by 31 March.
For almost the last ten years I've been on the ball about mailing them in in a timely manner, but this year I forgot all about it.
Even with the forms stuck on the front door (canary yellow), I kept forgetting them.

So here I stand with 100 or so other people standing in line on the last day.

Two cool dog blogs

I stumbled into Ranger's blog today, & he is one cool dog!
Go check him out. And you can find lots of other cool dogs in his links, too!

The other dog blog I found today is simply called Dogblog, & the author, a resident of San Francisco, captures images of all the dogs he sees there & posts them for the rest of the world's dog lovers to enjoy.

The New Mister White

This nice looking guy has lived with us for about three years or so. A former tom who showed up & made himself at home, he's put one person in the hospital, & has just about sent me there a few times as well.
Over the last few months he has become somewhat more sociable, taking an interest in the cooking that goes on, & occasionally rubbing against a leg as he passes on his way to be let out.
But this weekend, he did something brand new, that we've never experienced with him.

He PURRED! For the first time in all the years he's lived with us. Not a loud one — I only knew because I was rubbing his ears, & could feel his motor going along his throat.
I suppose that there's hope for him yet. But for God's sake, don't try & pick him up without some big-ass leather gloves on!

Growing Up? Or Just Growing Old?

We all left the gym early last night for our sort-of semi-annual dinner-out-with-dojo-funds, & found that our regular establishment, a nice restaurant for pizza, beer, et al. was packed, & that there was a long wait.
The group, being made up mostly of undergrads, decided on a place up the strip a ways that I hadn't been to in years, & didn't particularly want to go back to.
Said place is more of a bar that serves pizza, with pool tables & a variety of video games.

The pizza was cheap, & didn't taste too bad, but it was salty as all get out, & I'm still trying to drink enough water to make up for it.
The head instructor & I both noticed that it was a bit smoky, & that a beer, no matter how good, doesn't taste like itself out of a plastic pint "glass" — though none of that seemed to bother the younger crowd.
I tried to explain to a couple of the guys that when they were a few years older, they'd appreciate our sentiment, & our more developed taste. Then, blah, blah, blah, eyes glazing over as the old guy talks... .

I showered for the second time after my work out after getting home, just to get the bar smell off.

And a side of defibrillator!

 
The Bacon, Cheese and Beer Dog!
Here's some more crazy snacks from StuffMagazine.
This time, they hollow out a few hot dogs, fill them with cheese, wrap them in Bacon and deep fry them.... Mmmm... it's like a hot dog heart attack all in one convenient greasy little package!

Beer Madness

32 beers compete for the top seat

In the spirit of this single-elimination madness, Sunday Source puts 32 American beers to a blind taste test in our very own first annual (we hope) Beer Madness tournament.

WTF?!

Two days ago I was hanging out with the dogs, wearing shorts & a t-shirt, & today it's snowing again?
Thanks for the Global Climate Change, George!

Thirty things I have learned about sex from watching pR0n

• Women wear high heels to bed
• Men are never impotent
• When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory
• If a woman is caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her
• Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm
• Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle aged men
• Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob
• Women always have orgasm when men do
• A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket
• All women are noisy cummers
• Those tits are real
• A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt
• Men always groan "oh Yes" when they cum
• If there are two of them, they high five each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted)
• Double penetration makes women smile
• Asian men don't exist
• If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth
• Lesbians will always be delighted for a man to join in
• When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt
• Nurses suck patient's cocks
• Men always pull out
• When your girlfriend busts you for getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking you both
• Women never have headaches, or periods
• When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it
• Assholes are clean
• A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all concerned
• Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
• When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head, and the other proudly on his hip
• Dorky guys never have to beg.

The Top 16 Rodeo Pick-Up Lines

• "Ain't no rodeo clown in the world that could keep me off *you*, Darlin'."
• "Here's my number, call me if you need a few bucks."
• "Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin' freak.'"
• "Pardon me, Ma'am -- you and your friend there interested in a little team ropin'?"
• "I can see by your Wranglers that you're a Jewish man..."
• "Er, yeah... I *am* in the Village People."
• "How'd you like to put a pinch of *me* between your cheek and gum?"
• "Them calves of yours sure look like they could use a bit of ropin'."
• "Got 8 seconds?"
• "Ropes, spurs, leather gloves -- Honey, even I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!"
• "I'll be in Intensive Care later. Why don't you drop by?"
• "You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged."
• "Honey, I *need* a belt buckle this large to keep from gettin' arrested in Mississippi."
• "Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to see me?"
• "Mooooooooo."
• "That's right, I said '*and* the horse you rode in on.'"

Time to change cable companies!

 
MESA, Ariz. - Viewers of a news show broadcast on a Phoenix-area cable television station received a lot more than news — hard-core pornography started streaming into their living rooms, replacing a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

Conditional Support

 
Courtesy of Defective Yeti.

Turkey reverses itself

At least for now.
I bet Dick Cheney was thrilled at the ban, though, just waiting 'til he could try something like that here — you know, just to stop all of those irritating free thinkers roaming the U.S.

It had to happen!

OJ enters the race.
Not for president, but to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby!

Giving new meaning to close-mindedness

 
Turkish court orders YouTube blocked

ISTANBUL, Turkey - A Turkish court ordered access to YouTube's Web site blocked on Wednesday, after a prosecutor recommended the ban because of videos allegedly insulting the founder of modern Turkey... .

Self esteem problems, Turkey? Just do like the George Bush & invade a random country after claiming they pose an imaginary threat!

Sports Injury?

Late Saturday evening, just before getting in bed, my buddy Stanley came into the house holding his back leg up, & crying pretty loudly.
We called the vet, & after talking with her, decided to take him in for an exam, since he was obviously in a good bit of pain — & since the weather might have gotten worse on Sunday, too.
We were at the clinic by 11:15, & after examining him, she decided that Stanley probably has a partial tear of his ACL in his right hind leg.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't out shootin' hoops with his buds, or playing softball, so we're really not sure how it happened.
He did, however, have the distinctive smell that one might pick up running haphazardly through the cow pasture up above our house.
Our best guess is that he was being chased by something a good bit larger than he is, & caught & twisted his leg as he headed for home.

Four years ago, he came home with a good-sized bite on his left hind leg, that chomped down hard enough to break it! We're thinkin' raccoon for both incidences, especially since Stanley is very wary around other cats, & would much rather hide or scamper than stay & fight.

For now, he's on "bed-rest" for the week — which amounts to staying in one room of the house with his own private litter box — and taking an anti-inflammatory every day.

And, of course, certain other animals aren't happy about not being able to get in there to have a drink from their favorite sink! And Rudy has spent most of his time nose to the door, needing to make sure that Stanley is okay, & assuring us that he will nurse Stanley back to health if only we'll let him in there =)

My bad!

I can be one of those cell phone fascists who hates to hear someone's phone ringing when there should be no phones ringing.
Imagine my embarrassment at dojo when my phone starting going off during the first part of class!

I cannot remember the last time my phone wasn't set either to vibrate, or turned off completely during class. Seems I had a monthly event on my calendar, so it kept trying to remind me — every ten minutes!
Of course, I was thinking to myself, "What jerk left their phone on during class?!" Then I got to thinking about what date it was, & that I had set the alarm earlier so that I could grab a quick snooze before class... .

Smiles & Hooray

It sounds as if Mordred T. Dog is on the mend again.

Because she has nothing better to do

Lawmaker Tries To Ban Naked Lady Mudflaps

PHOENIX -- It's still going to be legal in Arizona for trucks to have splash guards with racist terms and silhouettes of naked women.
The state House on Thursday rejected a Democratic amendment that would have banned splash guards with images that are "obscene or hateful."

The hottest new Bluetooth Handset

From Thinkgeek.com

A Valentine's Day he'll never forget

Woman ties up lover, drinks his blood
The Arizona Republic

Feb. 14, 2007 03:26 PM — Tiffany Sutton apparently wanted to drink up her lover on Valentine's Day - literally, authorities said.

Valentine's Day Numbers

• $16.90 billion: Amount expected to be spent this Valentine's Day.
• $156.22: Amount the average man is expected to spend on his significant other.
• $85.08: Amount the average woman is expected to spend on her significant other.
• 6: Percentage of men who typically receive Valentine's Day gifts.
• 75: Percentage of people who said they feel that receiving a gift is a welcome and affectionate gesture but not really necessary.
• 34: Percentage of women who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.
• 18: Percentage of men who said they would be disappointed if their partner did not buy them a gift.

Valentine's Day gifts

• The majority of men (74 percent) said they plan on purchasing a special dinner, followed by flowers (68 percent) and candy (51 percent).
• Sixty-one percent of women said they also plan to purchase a special dinner on Valentine's Day, followed by music, books, DVDs or games (45 percent) and candy (42 percent).

SOURCES: Discover Card Valentine's Day Shopping Survey, National Retail Federation 2007 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, National Confectioners Association.

Breaking the Sound Barrier

Today, Chuck Yeager, the pilot who broke the sound barrier, turns 84.
Now he's breaking the sound barrier again.
This time with a new hearing aid!

Did Bud Super Bowl Commercial Rip Off The Whitest Kids?

It's starting to look that way... .

Virginia, More Backward than You Imagined!

House Advances Bill to Punish Forced Miscarriages

RICHMOND, Feb. 5 -- The Virginia House of Delegates gave tentative approval Monday to a bill to make it a felony for a woman to cause her own miscarriage but rejected a proposal to give fertilized eggs and fetuses the "right to enjoyment of life".