Subject Line of the Day

Monster erectile power
I'm not sure I even want to picture that... .

It's about Damn Time!

AFRICAN FAMILY ADOPTS BRITNEY SPEARS’ CHILDREN

Lilongwe, Malawi– Citing a desire to assist children growing up in some of the most dire circumstances imaginable, a family from the African nation of Malawi has adopted Britney Spears’ and Kevin Federline’s sons. “It would be selfish for us, who know how to wear underwear and don’t have delusions that we can rap, to do nothing while children grow up like this,” said Joseph N’Kai, a nomadic farmer with seven children who earned $387 last year.

The World's Ugliest Cars

A recent survey selects the worst designed cars of all time.
The top pick?
The AMC Pacer

HSUS Animal Fighting & Cruelty Campaign

Vote in the Knock Out Animal Fighting Video Contest.

We've chosen three stand-out submissions from an impressive pool of responses to our Knock Out Animal Fighting Video Contest. Now it's your turn to help us choose a winner!
Take a few minutes to watch all three super-short videos and then scroll to the bottom of the page to cast your vote for Heavyweight Champion for the Animals. Voting ends at midnight on Aug. 30, 2007, so vote now and tell your friends.

Happy Birthday?

So, the missus turns the big five-o next week.

And, she's "late".
She's still within the range of not being "too" late, but wouldn't that be a surprise present?

Someone's going to have fun!

I went to the grocery store across the street at lunch today to get some allergy medicine...
The guy in front of me at the checkout had:

• a bottle of Cold Duck
• a bottle of white wine
• a box of club crackers
• a block of cheese
• a can of Reddi Whip

I understand everything except the Cold Duck..

Winter's coming!

And you wouldn't want those lovelies to get too chilled, would you?
And don't forget the matching G-String!

Too Exciting?

Martial-Arts Masters Meet in 'Forbidden Kingdom'

Jet Li & Jackie Chan, acting together in a Martial Arts movie!
What martial arts enthusiasts have waited years to see, & it's hard to imagine either one of them being involved in a bad movie about the Monkey King.

For all the cube dwellers

This will almost certainly spice up your day a little (SFW).

American Mathematics

I was out & about during lunch the other day, so I just went to the drive through at a popular fast food place.
My total was $3.20, & I handed the (blond) girl at the window $3.00, then dug around for some change & handed her 20 cents.
At which point she seemed a little confused, & said, "So I owe you a dollar?"
....
"It was $3.20, right?"
"Yeah," she said.
"I gave you $3.00, then change... ."
"So, how much do I owe you?"
............
"You don't owe me anything," I tried to say without too much exasperation.
"Oh, thanks!"

And just think, she really could grow up to be a president of the same caliber as the one we have now.

Just call him "Brownie"

Federal mine safety official's credentials questioned

(Richard) Stickler used to be a mining executive who - according to various media reports - ran mines which had several fatalities and "...an incident rate that was often twice the national average."

So, let me get this straight.
The Bush administration wanted to appoint someone without the qualifications to do the job, perhaps because of political & family connections?
And after eight years we're surprised by this?

My Interest in Video Games

Has suddenly renewed itself!

Memo shows mine already had roof problems in March

Salt Lake Tribune

Operators at the Crandall Canyon mine experienced serious structural problems in the mine in March and entirely abandoned work in an area about 900 feet from where six miners remained trapped Saturday.

A memo obtained by The Salt Lake Tribune shows that mine owners were trying to work around "poor roof conditions" before halting mining of the northern tunnels in early March after a "large bump occurred . . . resulting in heavy damage" in those tunnels.

Perhaps Bob Murray isn't the wonderfully sensitive & caring mine owner that he wants to be seen as on TV... . What a shocker!
And, even more shocking, he's an energy executive who likes to flex his political muscle.

"Mitch McConnell calls me one of the five finest men in America, and last time I checked he was sleeping with your boss," Murray told the inspectors, referring to the senior GOP senator from Kentucky. The quote was repeated in an Oct. 2006 Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader article on McConnell's political influence.

Nothing says Love..

Like dragging them behind your van!

Ouchie!

But still a cool party trick.

Famous Last Words

"And I'm going to prove it to you," uttered by Robert E. Murray, chairman of mine owner Murray Energy Corp.
"This was caused by an earthquake, not something that Murray Energy ... did or our employees did or our management did."

Seems the seismologists think the mine collapse caused the ruckus picked up by their instruments, & the mine operators are absolutely sure that an earthquake caused the collapse.
Just off the top of my head, I'm more willing to go with the scientists & their cool instruments to back up the findings than I am with a hot-headed CEO out to save profit margin. Oh yeah, & his ass... .

The Official "Vick" Chew Toy

Get yours now!
Or at least put in an order — they're on back order until September.
My boys are gonna love 'em, I can tell.

And we're worried about Iran?

Weapons Given to Iraq Are Missing

Monday, August 6, 2007
The Pentagon has lost track of about 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to Iraqi security forces in 2004 and 2005, according to a new government report, raising fears that some of those weapons have fallen into the hands of insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq.

I hate it when that happens!

Bondage couple lose key

A German couple had to call out the fire brigade after tying each other up in chains - and then losing the key to the padlock.
Jochen Ranstett, 56 and his wife Maria, from the town of Weiden, dressed up in leathers and chained each other to their beds, but lost the key during the romp.
After hours of trying to free themselves they finally gave up and called for help on Jochen's mobile phone.
He said: "It was so embarrassing. We just wanted to try something a bit different and we ended up with this.
"I even had to be taken to hospital because my wrists had swollen so much from trying to get out of the handcuffs."

Tough Love

Sicilian mother cuts off 61-yr-old son's allowance

ROME (Reuters) - A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son's house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.

And who doesn't need some of these?

Anti-Pervert Panties Block IR

In Japan, riding the train in a skirt is still an invitation to have your ass grabbed or photographed by some random perv. These days, there's a more advanced threat: cameraphones with IR night vision can be tweaked to see through clothes. Cramer Japan made these nylon and polyurethane panties that block IR, hampering the photographs. The name of the undies? ShotGuard Inner Shorts. The company is planning bras made from the same material.